Sherry called it the “push and pull” between the “bitter atheist” (Sam) and the “impatient man of faith” (Nate).  Heather asked: “You made it sound so normal... I have no clue how you did that?”  

That scene was born out of an argument. A fight. A bitter, angry, no holds barred battle, one Sunday morning at my church in Toronto. That took place inside my own heart.  

A man had been preaching – and doing an incredibly bas job of it. (No Duke, it wasn’t you!)  

He was standing there talking about Jesus and something in the way this man was preaching it made me feel so utterly miserable. He made Jesus sound depressing. Painting me as the utterly worthless ‘sinner’.  

And as I was listening, a treacherous and stubborn voice spoke up inside my heart and said: “He’s just trying to lay a guilt-trip on me. Well sorry – it’s not going to work! Not today anyway.”  

Immediately, the ‘good Christian’ side of me tried to push that voice down – reminding myself that the preacher was only doing his best, and there was merit to his argument….  

“Then prove it to me!” the honest voice inside me demanded. “Do you really believe you can win this argument?”  

“Well,” my good-girl voice said rationally, “Jesus’ love is like…”  

But no sooner had I started along one of the well-worn explanations that I’d heard explained, a million times, since childhood, the honest-voice inside me shouted, “But that’s a bad analogy – and you know it!”  

So I sat there in church. Filling Sam’s shoes inside – shouting out every single rational doubt I had against the religion I followed. Every passionate argument against the God I clung to. Every time that faith had seemingly let me down…  

And then the inner-Nate rose up inside and volleyed them back – until I could feel my soul being to tear right down the middle.  

I can not tell you who won the argument. Only that there is more to it than could fit inside this one book, and perhaps one day it will continue in a sequel.